Deciding to have a prenuptial agreement (prenup) is one thing—bringing it up with your partner is another. Given the emotions and misconceptions that often surround prenups, starting this conversation can feel daunting. However, discussing a prenup openly and honestly can strengthen your relationship by fostering transparency and financial clarity.

Why Consider a Prenup?

A prenup is a legally binding agreement between two people that is signed before marriage, and outlines how assets, debts, support and other financial matters will be handled in the event of separation, divorce, disability and/or death. While some people view prenups as planning for failure, prenups can not only serve as a proactive step toward financial security and conflict prevention but also assist couples in financial planning for their future.

Here are some common reasons why people choose to get a prenup:

  • Protecting pre-marital assets – If one or both partners have savings, investments, and/or property, a prenup can protect these assets to ensure they remain separate property.
  • Clarifying financial expectations – A prenup can outline how finances will be managed during the marriage, preventing future misunderstandings.
  • Protecting business interests – If a partner owns a business, a prenup can help prevent complications that could arise in a divorce.
  • Managing debt responsibility – A prenup can help shield one partner from taking on the other’s pre-existing debt and/or debt incurred during the marriage.
  • Providing for children from previous relationships – If a partner has children from a prior relationship, a prenup can ensure certain assets are preserved for them.
  • Protection from change jurisdiction – Prenups define each partners rights to property and support and liabilities.  The prenup is binding and enforceable even if you do not reside in the jurisdiction (state or country) where the prenup was signed, so long as the prenup is valid under the laws of the jurisdiction where the prenup was signed.  This means that couples can protect themselves regardless of where they choose to reside in the future. 

Understanding these benefits can make it easier to approach the conversation with confidence and clarity.

How to Bring Up a Prenup with Your Partner

1. Pick the Right Time and Place

A prenup discussion is not something to bring up in passing or during an argument. Choose a calm, private setting where you can both focus and feel comfortable. Timing is also important—do not wait until wedding planning is in full swing, as it could add stress to an already busy time.

2. Frame It as a Conversation, Not a Demand

Instead of presenting a prenup as something you need your partner to agree to, use this opportunity for a mutual discussion about financial planning. Use “we” language to show that this is about protecting both of you.  Prenups require financial disclosure from both partners, so approach it as a means to engage in financial transparency going into the marriage.

3. Be Honest About Your Reasons

Explain why a prenup is important to you. If you have specific concerns—such as a family inheritance, business interests, or prior financial obligations—share them openly. This helps your partner understand that a prenup is not about lack of trust but rather about planning responsibly for the future.  Be prepared to share details about your financial situation.

4. Address Common Misconceptions

Many people have negative associations with prenups, believing they indicate a lack of trust or a plan for divorce. Reassure your partner that this is not about expecting the worst—it is about protecting both of you and ensuring fairness in any situation.

5. Be Willing to Compromise

A prenup is not a one-sided agreement. Your partner’s feelings and concerns matter, too. Be open to negotiating terms that work for both of you. Consulting a lawyer together can help ensure that the agreement is fair, legally sound, and beneficial for both parties.

6. Seek Legal Guidance 

A prenup should be drafted with input from legal professionals. Both partners should have individual counsel before entering into a prenup.  Meeting with a family law attorney will allow each partner to gain further understanding of why a prenup may benefit him or her and allow each partner to have his or her questions answered.  

Consult An Attorney

If you are considering a prenup, consulting a lawyer is a smart step. A legal expert can help you understand:

  • What can and cannot be included in a prenup
  • How to ensure the agreement is enforceable
  • Ways to make the prenup fair and balanced for both partners

A prenup is simply a tool for financial clarity, planning and security. While the conversation might feel uncomfortable at first, approaching it with honesty, understanding, and respect can help ensure that both you and your partner feel confident about your future together.